Late Night Rewrite

Carolina got basketball season underway with last weekend’s Late Night With Roy. The annual celebration has been a tradition since Roy Williams returned to Chapel Hill. ‘Midnight Madness’ events have crept up both on the calendar and the clock over the years. In recent years, the NCAA has allowed practice to begin sooner —Kansas’ Late Night In The Phog tipped off on September 30— and moving the events to earlier in the evening have made them more family-friendly events. That’s not a bad thing, but I remember how fun it was when Midnight Madness and The Tar Heels actually began at midnight. 

These glorified practices are particularly fun for folks who won’t make a regular season game and who just want to see their favorite players dance and play a little bit, to get the season started with a celebration. But I thought that some of them could use more appropriate names. Like, someone has to do ‘Hangin’ with Mr. Hooper’ somewhere, right? So, here’s a Late Night Rewrite.

 

North Carolina - Late Night With Roy

Before Late Night With Roy, there was Midnight with Matt and the Tar Heels. Before that, it was Up All Night With Gut Issues (just kidding).

Late Night With Roy is a fine name, but it starts at 7 pm. That’s not ‘Late Night,’ by any means. As it takes place on a Friday, I thought an appropriate name might revolve around ABC’s Friday Night Lineup from the 1990s, ‘TGIF.’ Only in this case, this year, it’s ‘TGIBS,’ Thank God It’s Basketball Season. Actually, let’s take it one step further.

New name: ‘TGIBSAATNMIO,’ (pronounced TeeGibSatineemo).

Thank God It’s Basketball Season and All that NCAA Mess Is Overwith.

Kansas - Late Night In The Phog

A really good name, actually, but again, this started at 6:30 p.m. They really pack it out in Allen Fieldhouse, so let’s go with . . .

All By My Slf

Gonzaga - Kraziness in the Kennel

Come on. Lame. How about . . . 

A Few Good Minutes With Gonzaga

Syracuse - Orange vs. White Scrimmage 

Do they not even have a marketing department? This one is easy. 

Boeheim’s Me-Time

Georgetown - Hoya Madness

Come on out and see first-year head coach Patrick Ewing’s new team.  The Hoyas pulled out of the PK80 Tournament and their non-conference schedule is an absolute joke. So this was quite easy.

Georgetown: This will be the toughest competition you will see until January.

Alabama - Tide Tipoff

I always like Avery Johnson when he was a member of the San Antonio Spurs. But bless his heart, he’s got his work cut out for him on that campus.

Nick Saban Is Our New Men’s Basketball Coach. Just Kidding, but Come Anyway? 

Florida State - Jam With Ham

No changes. Hands down the best one on this list.

NC State - Primetime with the Pack

First of all, it’s a great idea to hold this in Reynolds Coliseum. The new building is beautiful and allows for a throwback feel when men’s basketball plays there. But which came first, this event or Mark Packer’s old Charlotte radio show, ‘Primetime with the Packman’? Copyright infringement much? Anyway, since it’s the first year for their head coach, I’m suggesting... 

Fill The Building, for Keatts’ Sake! 

Duke - Countdown to Craziness

Just a note here to make it more authentic. 

Countdown to Checking our Cheer sheets for details on this sport and our opponents and being called clever for it. 

And finally,

Kentucky - Big Blue Madness

Nope. No way. If you’re Kentucky, you’ve got to embrace who you are. Also, this is the only school that I’m recommending start even later in the evening. 

One A.M. and Done A.M. 

Photo by Smith Hardy